A dialogue

Chorus
She has no reason to be sad
And every reason to be glad
She must be mad to be so sad – mad or bad
But Mrs Thingme isn’t bad
And so you see, she must be mad

Dr Wotsit
Come to me, I’ll cure your sad
We’ll talk and then you’ll soon be glad
Glad to see you are not mad – mad or bad
The talking cure, it isn’t bad
And so you see, you’ll soon be glad

Chorus
But Mrs Thingme wasn’t glad
And talking just increased the sad
‘Cause Mrs Thingme’s, life was bad – bad or mad
That’s why you see, she wasn’t glad

Dr Wotsit
You know that I can cure your sad
Take these pills, you’ll soon be glad
Glad or course unless you’re mad – mad or bad
‘Cause Mrs Thingme’s life’s not bad
And so you see you’ll soon be glad

Chorus
Green ones didn’t make her glad
And blue and red increased the sad
Yellow made her go quite mad – mad or bad
And so you see she wasn’t glad

Dr Wotsit
Deliberately you stay so sad
With ECT you’ll soon be glad
Unless of course it drives you mad – mad or bad
We’ll see if then you’re still so sad

Chorus
Sadder still and still more sad
She could not make herself be glad
Mrs Thingme’s life is more than bad, bad or mad
Sadder still and still more sad

Dr Wotsit
Wretched woman, I’ll make you glad
My knife will cut away your sad
Mrs Thingme you are mad – mad and bad
Leucotomy will make you glad

Chorus
Now Mrs Thingme isn’t sad
And Mrs Thingme isn’t glad
Mrs Thingme isn’t mad – mad or bad
Mrs Thingme isn’t Mrs Thingme

CJ 2002

First published 26 June 2016